There's an Mfezi (Mozambique Spitting Cobra) in my Pantry

A Mozambique Spitting Cobra

Unlike Woody in Toy Story drawling “There’s a snake in my boots” that is met with a familiar chuckle, the phrase “There’s an Mfezi in my Pantry” is enough to send the average bush dweller into a mild panic. 5 years ago it was never a phrase I thought of stringing together. 2 years ago when we moved to Hoedspruit it was a definite possibility but still not a phrase I had ever hoped I would mutter, let alone exclaim with glee.

Let me explain before everyone thinks I’m certifiably insane….In this weird and wonderful little town we call home, we live alongside wildlife. Not all of them cute and cuddly. Some slightly dangerous and some positively deadly, however the same could be said of many of my neighbours in Johannesburg…so really it’s much of a muchness, BUT I never kept any of my neighbours in a bucket in my pantry.

With winter thawing and temperatures rising slightly, the onset of danger noodle season is upon us, as these fascinating yet dangerous and even dangerously misunderstood creatures start becoming more active and therefore also more visible to even the untrained eye. Now for the longest time, my remedy for any type of danger noodle was a swift dispensing of a solid dose of lead to the head. Home remedy that works every time….with minimal risk really. I can’t say no mess no fuss, but you get the gist.

Then my darling husband and I moved to the drinking town with a conservation addiction that is Hoedspruit, on the verge of Kruger. It would no longer do to obliterate any intruding danger noodle, for two reasons really, one bullets are expensive and two wiping out the residents is largely frowned upon.

For the longest time, I was not entirely convinced but hey, I was new here and I was willing to give it a try. Years ago, when I had just finished my guiding course, I attended the mandatory snake handling and safety course, but it never really prepared me for Hoedspruit. There was the odd brown house snake, Rhombic Night Adder or red lipped herald that I removed safely and released while living in the Urban Jungle (taking the cost of ammunition into account of course - and knowing they were mostly harmless)

My new neighbours however are much less benign. Martin promptly decided we needed a refresher course on danger noodles and more importantly danger noodle safety and handling. So off we trundled to the Hoedspruit Reptile Centre for a full day of danger noodle exposure. I’m not going to go into too much detail on the course, other than it was Brilliant and Chris is Yoda when it comes to all things herpish.

The reason I am excited about having an Mfezi in my pantry, is because of the exceptional research being done at the Hoedspruit Reptile Center. If you have read this far, and don’t know what an Mfezi is, now is probably a good time to give you the real name, it’s a Mozambique Spitting Cobra. Which for the average person sends a cold shiver of dread down your spine, and the average sane person would like to put as much distance between themselves and something that even sounds dangerous, however it would seem that neither my darling husband nor I are perfectly sane all the time.

But I digress, back to my pantry and it’s new albeit very temporary resident. There is currently a PhD student that, in pretty layman’s terms is looking at how much you really need to bug a danger noodle before it bites you! Now we have all heard the urban legends of mambas that will hunt you down, and of pythons eating men and spitting them out, but the reality is really…they want to get as far away from you as snakely possible (it’s true and I’ll tell you how I know this)

This is our third Mfezi in a week, the first startled our gardener who was quietly sitting outside his house at the bottom of our garden, by slithering over his foot, mostly undetected. The snake wanted out of the garden and his foot was between the snake and his exit row. The snake probably knew the pre-flight briefing off by heart and had located the exit nearest to him. In this case however it was not behind him.

Had he wanted to, he could very quickly and without much effort simply disposed of said gardener with a quick nip on the ankle and have been on his way. Instead he took a gap, and also almost scared the gardener back to his ancestors, but it was only once the snake was over his foot and in his eyeline (far out of striking distance) that he realised what had happened. As it was dusk, during loadshedding (a dreadful condition in South Africa where our Energy Provider cuts our power for a couple of hours at a time to "conserve" reserves) the Reptile Centre Hero’s were called (well less of a call and more of a me arriving at their house unannounced in the dark of night looking like a crazy harpy…pleading for help, good thing they live a stones throw away)

The second Mfezi was discovered yesterday, while the poor gardener was checking the electric fence. Again, he did his level best to get away from the Gardener and Mart who was called in as backup.

They both tried for more than an hour to safely capture our non-rental paying Tennant, however once he had coiled into some rocks, it became a tricky rescue and once again, the reptile centre was called in to come and assist, for no reason other than none of us wanted any harm to befall this danger noodle.

This afternoon, the call came in through the radio, another Mfezi at the bottom of the property that needed an eviction notice. Now, yes, we live in the bush, alongside wildlife and this is their home, however it is also our home, we have 3 dogs and staff, whose well being are all our responsibility. If it doesn’t pay rent, it must out…safely of course and not without the promise of newer and more suitable digs for the danger noodle down the line.

Let me just preface this by saying, Martin, Myself and the Gardener have all completed the excellent snake handling course offered by the Hoedspruit Reptile centre and we have all the necessary safety equipment (any reason to shop you know)

Minutes later the stoic gardener comes marching up to the kitchen, snake bucket (with a safety sealed lid) in one hand, tongs in the other and the most ridiculous smile hidden behind his safety goggles. The Mfezi is in the bucket, and the PhD student has a new colleague to discuss her thesis with…how much do you need to really bug a snake before he looses his cool.

Tomorrow morning we will play taxi to the large reptile as he makes his way to the classroom and once he has made his contribution to science, been fed for his efforts, he will be safely released on our reserve again (the only mandate…far far away from the bottom of our garden)

This may seem beyond insane to generally sane individuals, however I can’t help but get excited that a) I no longer need to shell out for lead injections and b) that the Mfezi in my pantry will play a part, no matter how large or small in changing the way the world at large sees danger noodles.

Disclaimer

1. Chris the Yoda of all things Herpish has assured us the noodle will be perfectly fine in a bucket for the night

2. We are not clinically insane, we placed two cans of laager on the lid of the bucket as a rudimentary early warning system. If the beers have moved in the morning we have a much bigger problem

3. Yes there is an Mfezi in that bucket under all the newspaper. The Newspaper gives him somewhere to hide.

The Bucket and Warning System, housing our unwanted guest

The Mozambique spitting cobra (Naja mossambica) is a fascinating and highly venomous snake species native to Africa, particularly known for its ability to spit venom as a defense mechanism. Here are 11 interesting facts about this remarkable reptile:

1. Venomous Spit: The Mozambique spitting cobra can accurately spit its venom at a target up to 2-3 meters away. This venom can cause pain, inflammation, and even blindness if it hits the eyes.

2. Color Variation: These snakes exhibit a range of colors from light brown to a dark, almost black hue. Their coloration helps them blend into their surroundings, providing camouflage against predators and prey.

3. Diet: Their diet primarily consists of amphibians, birds, small mammals, and other snakes. They are known to be opportunistic feeders.

4. Habitat: They inhabit a variety of environments including savannahs, forests, and even human-populated areas, particularly where rodent populations are high.

5. Nocturnal Predators: Mozambique spitting cobras are primarily nocturnal, doing most of their hunting and activity during the night.

6. Defensive Behavior: When threatened, they can raise the upper part of their bodies off the ground, spread their hoods, and hiss loudly to intimidate potential threats. If this display fails to deter a threat, they may resort to spitting or injecting venom.

7. Venom Composition: Their venom is a potent mix of cytotoxins and neurotoxins. The cytotoxins cause tissue damage and necrosis, while the neurotoxins can affect the nervous system.

8. Reproduction: These snakes are oviparous, meaning they lay eggs. A female can lay between 10 to 22 eggs, which she will then abandon to hatch on their own.

9. Lifespan: In the wild, the Mozambique spitting cobra can live up to 20 years, although many fall prey to larger predators or human actions before reaching old age.

10. Threats to Humans: While they generally avoid human contact, they can become aggressive if cornered or threatened. Their venom is dangerous to humans and can cause severe injuries or even death if not treated promptly.

11. Conservation Status: Currently, the Mozambique spitting cobra is not considered to be at risk of extinction and is classified as "Least Concern" by the IUCN Red List. However, habitat destruction and human conflict pose ongoing threats to their populations.

Transporting the Mozambique Spitting Cobra to the Hoedspruit Reptile Centre (Martin was driving and I was playing Guard))